Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Who's Watching The Watchmen?


I am not your typical fanboy, coming to comics late in life. But I do have a modicum of respect for the likes of Alan Moore, whose early work on "Swamp Thing" transcended the genre. Though I lost my original copies of the "Watchmen" series in a flood, I still have my HC version. It was a stunning accomplishment at the time. A mixture of pop culture, hero worship, politics and morality; finely fleshed out by Dave Gibbons' very humanistic visual interpretation. "Watchmen" will continue to be a benchmark of sorts, in the graphic novel realm; comics' "Moby Dick" if you will.

The movie "Watchmen" will, unfortunately, not maintain any similar standing. Except within the narrow corridors of fan geekdom. The film, though a fairly cohesive story, falls far short of being any kind of cinematic powerhouse. And I will tell you why. 

It has always been my contention that anyone making a film based on a comic/graphic novel has a great advantage in that the whole damn thing is already storyboarded. But here Zack Snyder takes this idea quite literally. I would have to go back again, with my HC version,  to see if the scenes actually match the comics panels, but it sure felt like it. I suspect, out of deference to Moore, or fear of fans rejecting it outright if deviated from, in the end it comes off like a frame by frame interpretation of the book. Sadly this creates a plodding slide show-like effect. With camera movement very deliberate, deferentially slow and often static, Snyder fails to make the story sing as a piece of cinema. I feel for him, because I'm guessing this one, whether it makes dough or not, will be consigned to the "damned if you do, damned if you don't" pile. 

Thursday, February 5, 2009

The Christian Bale Flap


One word people: STEROIDS.
Why hasn't anyone mentioned what is so obvious to me? Bales, who has a reputation for being buff -- at least since American Psycho [The Machinist notwithstanding], had also become known concurrently for his violent outbursts. Coincidence? I think not. That's why they call it "beefcake's little helper."

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Little(?) Rascals

In a press release Tuesday, Lyric Records announced a massive recall of the entire Rascal Flatts (sic) catalog. A spokesperson for Lyric, a subsidiary of the Disney Company, explained that an error, originating at the time of their signing with the label in 1999, resulted in typos on every album they have ever released. A representative for the band would only say that an internal investigation had resulted in the firing of a mischievous and disgruntled employee in the A&R department, one Ms.Tinker Belle. Management has begrudgingly agreed to the reprinting of all packaging, which will henceforth have one "L" and one of the "T"s removed from the second word in the band's name. 

IN A RELATED STORY...
Whilst on a TV commercial break, WC visit tonight, I was startled by the shear volume of a commercial for the band Rascal Flatts (sic). The noise was so distressingly deafening, and beyond FCC guidelines range, that I had to actually force myself to stop urinating in order to return to the livingroom and turn the damn TV volume down.
– BGME

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Owen Wilson: Love Child???


I like Owen Wilson. Such a nice young man. One can't help but want to hang out with him and want the best for him. He has not done much in the way of acting, but he is humorous and amiable in a Van Johnson kind of way. I think his career would get a shot in the arm if he would walk away from the sweet, clever, "lite" movies that he always seems to be cast in, and do a drama. So who's willing to take a chance on him? 

So I go to visit my friend, agent Syd Wasserstein, and light a fire. "Syd," I say, "How is it that no one in Hollywood has ever picked up on the fact that Owen Wilson looks and sounds like the son of Dennis Hopper?" I'm dead serious. I've even got Syd on the edge of his seat, as the realization hits him. I mean, not only do they bear a physical resemblance to each other -- even the nose, but their vocal delivery is so similar. I begin to speculate a "winter of love" motorcycle trip, wherein Hopper rides to Forth Worth in 1968, and ends up having a torrid one-night-stand with the 23 year old Laura Cunningham (later Wilson). How else could one explain these blatant similarities?

The point is: someone needs to come up with a father/son vehicle for these two. An intense drama in which both could turn up the heat and maybe Hopper would finally win the acting Oscar that has eluded him and Owen would get some respect. And please, could someone do a DNA test and put me out of my curious misery? 

Friday, January 23, 2009

Kate Gypped by Academy


In reviewing the nomination lists for both the SAG Awards and the Oscars, one stumbles upon a glaring omission. The Academy has decided to ignore Kate Winslet's work in "Revolutionary Road" and give her one nomination for Best Actress in a Leading Role for "The Reader," a role that both the Golden Globes and SAG have recognized as supporting.

This snub is just another selective, political and, dare I say, semitic bias that continues to be exercised by the academy. Further fueling that whispered notion that if you do a film about the holocaust - you win an Oscar, or likewise, write a book about the holocaust and win a Pulitzer. This is getting ridiculously, blatantly obvious and it has to stop.

I don't know if anyone else got the joking aside made by Ricky Gervais to Kate at the Globes? This was a reference to an episode of "Extras" that Kate appeared in, as herself, in 2005. In it the extras worked on a holocaust drama, in which Winslet's character proclaimed (off-camera) that the role was undertaken because she knew it would get her an Oscar.

So now we are embroiled in a Hollywood game of chicken, whereby, if Kate doesn't win, then I'm proven wrong. And if she does win, Ricky's prescient bit of clichéd Hollywood irony is proven true and in the end: art imitates art imitates life.


Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Bobby Kennedy's Prescience


Robert Kennedy in an interview to "Voice of America" in 1968: Things are "moving so fast in race relations a Negro could be president in 40 years."

Obama was elected in 2008, exactly 4o years later.

And Ethel Kennedy, Bobby's widow, invited the then new senator Obama to deliver a keynote speech at an RFK 80th birthday event in 2005. At that event, before his campaign had even been spoke of, she referred to Obama as "our next president."

Monday, January 19, 2009

Steve Martin Go Home


After my diss last week of Steve Martin, about his ill-conceived decision to do a second bad remake of the Pink Panther series. (we call them "paycheck movies") I was reminded today, via a TBS broadcast, of another ill-advised remake of a classic: "The Out-of-Towners," which Martin did with Goldie Hawn in 1999– that Martin really should be prosecuted as a serial-remaker.

The original (1970) was directed by Arthur Hiller, from a Neil Simon script (he won a WGA award for it). The inspired casting of Jack Lemmon and Sandy Dennis (both nominated for Globes) further galvanized this picture as an untouchable Simon-comedy classic. I cannot think of this movie without hearing in my head the nasal delivery of Dennis: "Oh my gaaawd."


Got MLK?

MLK Day legislation was first introduced in 1968.
Illinois was the first state to adopt it as a state holiday in 1973.
Congress passed legislation for the holiday in 1983.
It was formally adopted as a federal holiday in 1986.
It took 15 years!

MLK's actual birthday is January 15th.
So government decided on the 3rd Monday in January.

There is a prescient convergence in the fact that MLK Day falls on the day before the inauguration this year.

Today we are nostalgically reminded of the dream.
And tomorrow we will see it's manifestation.

Friday, January 16, 2009

I Danced With Frankie Manning.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=pMDf4ciCRs
Frankie Manning  was one of Whitey's Lindyhoppers. He danced at the Savoy in the heyday of swing. He toured and appeared in films, most notably 1941's "Hellzapoppin." (he's in overalls) After WWII, the swing craze ended, Frankie came home from war, took a job as a postman, and lived a fairly uneventful life for the next 40-odd years. Then in the mid-80s, producers of the musical "Black and Blue" were searching for dancer from that swing era. Frankie was found and brought out of retirement to help choreograph the show. It was then he also began teaching swing-era dances at a studio downtown. This is when I danced with him: literally. He was still flipping women over his back! And despite his decades of living in the obscurity of civil service and loss of creative life, he has never shown an ounce of bitterness.

In 1989 Frankie Manning turned 75 years old, had a profile on 60 Minutes, and won a Tony Award!

Forever young, he turns 95 in 2009. Bless his gentle soul. He is one of a kind.

HIP HOP PRODUCT PLACEMENT?


SNL Report:
I am convinced that Kanye is being paid by labels to mention their brand names in his songs. He is the ultimate commercial whore. This has been going on for too long and he should be called out for it!

Re: Mad Men

I think I watched the first episode of this show when it first came out and then I fell off. Couldn't keep the appointment -- weekly. Let it slide. I'm watching it now via Netflix. Much more enjoyable way to view episodic TV in the first place. But let me say... this show is so well done, it aspires to high art. It is so well-crafted it is made like a film. And the writing is so good that character depth is revealed with every new episode. Damn good. Deserves every award.

Golden Globes Update

Me:  Don't know if anyone noticed, but Kate Beckinsale did not seem terribly comfortable to be sharing the mic with Puffy. Probably because the arrogant prick didn't so much share it with her as shoulder her out of the shot and hog prompter.

She:  I did notice that! Her contempt was palpable. But I'm a huge PD fan -- he amuses me.

Me:  Thank you for the validation. Yeah, he can be amusing in a TMZ, train wreck, highway accident, rubbernecking kind of way. And I am all over the current competition between he and Kanye for who is the biggest phallus in hip-hop. These two are both wunderkind, mama's boys in the worst way. I think Kanye leads with all his recent award show antics and the lip-syncing controversy over his last SNL appearance. But P-iddy is coming on strong with his recent Cîroc vodka ads that try to co-opt Sinatra cool, even shooting in B&W and using his track "Come Fly With Me."  
Instead, he comes off more like the black Donald Trump.

the gOlden glObes

golden globes, sal
In a press release today the Hollywood Foreign Press appointed Salma Hayek Ambassador to the Golden Globes.

Later, seemingly in a knee-jerk reaction, the SAG Awards appointed Cloris Leachman.

Bush Whacked

Still the shit-eating smirk. Still promoting lies to try to create some (ha!) "Legacy" for himself. Destroyer of a nation, the empty vessel, mental midget says goodbye to the White House. While the big Dick C. was seen today browsing through a D.C. marionette shoppe. Yeah, careful 43, don't let the door hit you on the way out. He and his wife are on their way to an extended vacation on Deee- Nile!!

Pink Panther Phew


Steve Martin in another Pink Panther movie? Haven't we been tortured enough? You would think Steve Martin, who I do have a modicum of respect for, (at least for his stand-up and SNL stuff) would have enough respect for the great Peter Sellers to have said no to this abortion in the first place. Has he no shame?

Pepsi Redo



The new Pepsi branding sucks. It is so over-designed as to be devoid of personality and consumer appeal. Why not call it generic Pepsi? Clinical Pepsi, for medicinal use only. I thought I understood the logo variations to be about calories: i.e. diet = white stripes thinner, but max blew that theory. All the chatter on the website is about the "wrinkled phallus" bottle design, perhaps harkening back to subliminal seduction ad techniques from the 70s [If you ever saw a particular Pierre Cardin cologne bottle from that era, you know what I mean]. But, by far, my favorite comment (scroll way down for it) is someone's brilliant interpretation of the white stripe as "butt crack."

The Myth of Leno


The question of Dave vs Jay has always been a bit of an East Coast-Left Coast argument. And while Leno has more often than not maintained bragging rights as far as ratings are concerned, Letterman has garnered more kudos by far. How do we explain this?

For the record, Leno has hosted since 1993 and won only one Emmy Award for the show in 1995, and one People's Choice Award in 2006. Letterman has been in the business much longer; hosting a daytime live show for NBC in 1980, that earned him a 1981 daytime Emmy, and another for writing. Then he had Late Night on NBC from 1982-1993 before moving to CBS with the Late Show. Late Night won four consecutive Emmy awards for writing from 1984-1987. The Late Show, on CBS, won its first Emmy for best comedy, variety, etc. show in 1994, later winning that honor for five consecutive years from 1998-2002. Dave, personally, has won four American comedy awards in 1989, 1994, 1995 and 2001. And Dave won his singular People's Choice Award in 2005.

Jay is a transplanted east-coaster from my home state of Massachusetts. His stand-up style is very mannered and he's been working with the same writing partners for many years. As a stand-up his material has always been pretty good, yet his delivery, timing, and styling of the jokes is getting tired and predictable. His rhythm is usually the same. He is becoming a bit of a hack. I attribute this to his loyalty to the people around him. The same opinions have made things stale. With lots of yes-men it's easy to begin to believe your own hype. As a host Leno barely has any skills at all. Those who criticize him say that he is completely fake. And one has only to watch a few segments to see what a glad-handing, backslapping, good to see ya, skill set he relies upon. It does make him seem fake and disingenuous. Everyone wants to know who is the real Jay?

Letterman, on the other hand, and to his credit, has always been an exceedingly self-deprecating, self-confessed geek. His life, on the surface anyway, has always been an open book and common fodder for material on the show. He is more often than not the butt of his own joke. His writing team has always been more of a mixed bag of personalities -- including Johnny Carson -- and this has always helped make his monologue fresher and help to keep his show more risky and off the wall. He has never been predictable. Although I must admit that a lot of the sideshow components of the show have been its weakest link. Principally because the re-occurring ones stayed in the show's quiver for way too long [Will It Float?]-- much like an SNL bit that ruins itself by going on and on forever. And then there is the competitive sniping and borrowing of bits between the two shows -- like the stupid bloopers found in local newspapers and magazines. And while Jay is very public about his love for money and the cars that it can buy, Letterman very quietly trumps him by buying the partnership in the Rahal IndyCar team, now Rahal-Letterman. Jay practically brags about how many nights a year he continues to do stand-up even though he doesn't need to. He certainly doesn't need the dough. He claims its helps to keep him fresh -- it does not. My pet theory is that it gives him ample opportunity to carouse, while leaving Mavis at home to wax his innumerable automobiles. Dave, on the other hand, has aged a bit more gracefully and is happy to stay home and enjoy his son and his common-law wife.

So while Jay, with his big head and multiple mannerisms, has over time become a caricature of himself; Letterman, especially with revelations of human frailty, has become more human and identifiable to his audience. He went through his hard times. His interviewing skills in the NBC years, especially if the guest was a non-celebrity, were devastatingly mean. I think this was the era when either booze or relationship problems contributed to his angry demeanor. But since the CBS era, quadruple bypass and the birth of a bastard son, Dave is more approachable and amiable than ever. His later career has moved in a discernible arc and he is arguably better now than ever. Meanwhile, Jay continues to come off like a cartoon character, whose hair just keeps getting whiter and whiter. And I really wonder if the signs of aging are not even more serious than that. On any given night I challenge viewers to count the number of times that he bangs his desk with his hand/fist for emphasis. What is up with this? Is it anger? Is this some early sign of Parkinson's Disease? It is an incredibly annoying tick.

The argument about ratings is barely even a valid one these days. Most of the younger demographic is probably watching the Colbert Report. Cable has changed everything. But my theory about Jay winning the ratings vs Dave is twofold. First, Jay lives where the stars are. Jay gets all the best guests. When Dave does get them they're usually commenting about a tired press junket and taking the red-eye. So for the viewers who are hungry for their Hollywood stars, if that's their criteria, they are probably going to tune in to Jay. Letterman simply cannot compete on movie star power alone. And maybe, just maybe, this is, in the end the essence of the chicken/egg story. Maybe Dave's material is more cutting edge because it has to be. Because that's the only way he can compete. My second idea is more of a glib, sociological theory. I think a higher percentage of people at home at 11:30pm on the East Coast are either reading or fucking; while the West Coasters are probably too wasted to do either. Passive entertainment is more up their alley.

NBC's gamble of putting Leno in the 10 o'clock time slot five days a week is a risky one. Sure it's saving them a ton of money in production costs. Though you can bet that Jay's bill alone is going to be fat. But NBC runs the risk of alienating thousands of viewers whose 10 o'clock shows will be bumped. It has always been my contention that network programmers are stupid. And I'm sure David E. Kelley will back me up on this. Because his shows have suffered terribly being pushed all over the calendar by ABC. People, at the heart of it, are ritualistic viewers. They make plans to watch the shows they love. They plan their evenings around it. They may even invite friends over, make popcorn, talk about an episode with those friends in the days that follow. Programming directors are ruining these rituals and shooting themselves in the foot in the process. This is one reason why Jay in prime time is a mistake. The others I have already enumerated. I predict he will fail. If he were smart he would sign a big fat deal in Vegas, collect his cars, and Mavis, and move out to the desert; where, with the additional tax benefits, he will live the good life and watch the last vestiges of dark hair turned white on his big fat head.